FUCCUW Royal Rumble 2018
The FUCCUW Royal Rumble was the first official match in the FUCCUW Universe and first televised YouTube match on PPV distributed by videogamecrazydude90. The event took place at the Alamodome in San Antonio, TX with a crowd of 309,369 turning out to watch the one-match card on January 2, 2018. The match was the first official bout in the FUCCUW federation and was for the FUCCUW Championship. This event would mark the official start of the FUCCUW Universe which was formed by Commissioner Nick Monzu later that night. The winner of the rumble was the evil 9/11 chef Neverforgetti who last eliminated The Jew with an absolute belter of a clothesline. Neverforgetti subsequently became the first ever official FUCCUW Champion and went on to remind the world of the horrors of 9/11. Background The first ever Royal Rumble match was the first official event in the FUCCUW Universe. Before the creation of this event, FUCCUW was in it's developmental stages with characters being created over the months of November and December in 2017. The previous matches and events are documented as the Probation Era of the company. All matches, championships and other events during this period are deemed unofficial but are still recorded. The god-like figurehead of the company videogamecrazydude90 (Kelsey Truscello) and his accomplice NoodleNinya (Xavier Truscello) created all the characters prior to this event and oversaw all activities within it prior to the creation of the FUCCUW Universe. The two decided to strike up a TV deal with YouTube and kick the federation off in January 2018 .Fans were eagerly awaiting the first televised event for just over a month before the Royal Rumble was announced. All 80 characters in the federation were illegible to participate in the Royal Rumble match with members of the original FUCCUW Family taking preference over outside talent. The 30 participants were confirmed on January 1, 2018, all of the numbers drawn were random except for #30 spot which was purchased by The Jew before the match. The announcement of the stipulation for the winner match to crowned the first official FUCCUW Champion was made during the Royal Rumble event with the original stipulation being 'winner faces KKK at Wrestlemania'. Wrestler KKK went into the first Royal Rumble as the FUCCUW Champion and the last champion of the FUCCUW Probation Era. KKK won the championship on RAW in a Fatal-Four-Way Hell in a Cell match on the afternoon pre-show of the Royal Rumble defeating Ange 'Ehnje' Cinalli, Commissioner Nick Monzu and Jerry Monzu. KKK was forced to defend his title when videogamecrazydude90 announced the shock stipulation. The match The first Royal Rumble began with the announcement of the stipulation being changed by videogamecrazydude90. The first ever entrant in the FUCCUW Royal Rumble was Borat, he was followed by FUCCUW Original member Xavier Truscello. Brunswick the mamoswine entered #3 and gorilla Pittas at #4 with the latter scoring the first elimination in FUCCUW history. Pittas eliminated Borat quickly and then Kelsey L.Truscello with the same move. The former, Brunswick lasted 11:39 until he was eliminated by 9/11 which was a record at the time later being beaten by Ange 'Ehnje' Cinalli who lasted over 14 minutes. Almighty Pete Logan would enter at #13 and set the elimination record with 5 equalled later by Cinalli. Logan would elminate Jackson Bartle, Lord Joe Maguire, Jerry Monzu, Cargo Vetch and his finally son Chris 'CL7' Logan before being eliminated himself. 9/11 entered at #17 with he and Logan going elimination for elimination spanning 5 participants. In the latter stages of the rumble Cinalli entered at #22, perhaps having the best performance of all participants. With his two previous Royal Rumble wins Cinalli was already a force to be reckoned with and proved this with his aforementioned five eliminations. Cinalli first eliminated KKK with whom he was beaten for the FUCCUW Championship just hours prior, this ensured there would be a new champion. Cinalli then went on to eliminate Nonno, Bill Orr, Dave and Dom looking like a serious threat to win the match. By this point the match had reached it's final four competitors of whom included Cinalli, Adolf Hitler, Neverforgetti and The Jew who entered at #30. In an epic back and forth struggle, the fans cheered feverishly for Cinalli and the rekindled 75-year-old Jew/Hitler rivalry as the match came down to the wire. Adolf Hitler was the first of the final four to be eliminated, Cinalli was then eliminated by the Jew much to the shock and dismay of the fans. The final two competitors were The Jew and Neverforgetti. The Jew was opportunistically taken advantage of by Neverforgetti, being hit with a Samoan Driver and thrown over the top rope seconds after his elimination by for the win, a rather unlikely victory in the eyes of the fans and commentators alike. Neverforgetti became the first ever official FUCCUW Champion as a result of his win. Aftermath After Ange 'Ehnje' Cinalli was eliminated by The Jew at the tail end of the rumble this caused much rage amongst the FUCCUW Universe. Cinalli was a fan-favourite and had lost his FUCCUW Championship which he won in his debut match to KKK a day prior in a poorly booked match. Cinalli defended the championship successfully in the two Royal Rumble matches preceding the first official one, a win would have seen him undefeated in this match, winning three-in-a-row, becoming the first superstar to do so, the fans were behind Cinalli because of this fact alone. The Jew was booed out of the building and almost strung up onto a crucifix by the 309,369 strong at the Alamodome, nearly becoming the 6,345,306th Jew to die since 1939. Neverforgetti was soon forgotten and flew off back to the World Trade Center, champion, with little to no fanfare.To calm the crowd down and send them home happy Commissioner Nick Monzu entered from backstage to make an announcement. Monzu went on to declare himself the commissioner of the federation only because he was a privileged, white, young teenager who had Italian heritage, sold baby formula, had knowledge of Bitcoins, produced meat boxes on a regular basis and had previously owned a FIFA 18 Pro Club called the Tiwis. The declaration of Monzu becoming the commissioner allowed him to make all the human decisions regarding the company but ultimately was being controlled by the creator of FUCCUW; videogamecrazydude90, in heaven. The crowd still confused as to what just happened before their eyes was bemused by the announcement but cheered Monzu anyway because he had Italian Spectrum Disorder and because they were non-prejudice against him. Monzu also unveiled a new championship exclusive to himself, making it the second official title belt in the company. Monzu then went on to ramble on about how although Ange 'Ehnje' Cinalli had robbed him of the FUCCUW Championship and his own championship during the Probation Era of FUCCUW, he was a "good bloke" and "came to Hoyts once", and that he was still going to give him a future title shot due to his stellar form and unwavering fan-favouritism. The fans cheered at the announcement of their favourite star being gifted the shot he deserved after the anti-climactic circumstances of the Royal Rumble.The event concluded with Monzu officially forming the FUCCUW Universe and dancing like the prick he is all the way out of the arena. Monzu after the Royal Rumble legally changed his name to Commissioner Nick Monzu, a decision that led to him being kicked out of his home in Perth, Western Australia by his family. Monzu now lives in a bush in Sardinia, Italy. The FUCCUW Championship moved to the RAW brand after the brand split of January 2018. Results table Match time: 29:40 Match highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=460wz1Q_xdQ&t=42s